Julia Louis-Dreyfus Double Feature - Seinfeld/New Adventures of Old Christine

Note: Her Seinfeld role is going to be on a separate page as her Old Christine role.

Seinfeld:
Just like any other for Elaine, well maybe not exactly any other morning for her. Recently, she loan some of her clothes to Kramer to wash for her, in attempt to avoid spending morning at the dry cleaners. Yesterday, she got them back, this morning, as she already has her red sweater on, she stands in front of her mirror, pulling her black silk pants up. At first, she's able to get them up her legs, feeling nice, soft and fresh if her silk pants were brand new. Only, as she got them around her waist, that's when they feel snug. When Elaine begins to get her pants to button, they weren't budging.
Distraught all of a sudden, Elaine tries to button them again, no luck. She stairs herself in the mirror, that idiot Kramer shrunk my pants! But for Elaine, she isn't going to let a pair of pants get in her way. She starts to becomes erratic, bouncing up and down where her neighbor downstairs bangs the bottom of her floor to knock it off; she lifts her left leg up in hopes that'll help, nothing. She then lays on her bed, laying on her back, as she kicks her legs high up as she frustrates herself into getting her pants to button. As her forehead starts to sweat, her face starting to turn slightly red, teeth grinding down...that's when she pauses, takes a breather that sounds like a huff.
Then she comes up with an idea, she heads to her drawer and pulls out some tweezers, she lays flat out on her back on her bed, as she uses the tweezers to zip up her pants. She's able to get the tweezers to pull her zipper up...it's working...almost got it, Laine! Almost! Finally, she gets them zip up, as she quickly buttons her pants, finally. Relief and excited, she got her pants to finally fit.
Later during the day, Elaine walks the streets with her wardrobe while wearing her black leather jacket and black boots, she feels her pants being snug on her, but she doesn't care, she''s been feeling great about herself all day, and she chose to not let a pair of pants get her. While walking on the sidewalk, she notices a fifty dollar bill, not twenty, but a real fifty dollar bill. Must be her lucky day, Elaine thought, finders keepers, losers weepers. Immediately, she bends down to grab the fifty, and suddenly...
RIP!
A loud tear is heard, like if the whole city heard it; Elaine lifts her head with a small gasp, "Oh please God, tell me that's not what I think that was" she whispers to herself. She feels both of her hands on the back of the rip, feeling her shiny pink I Heart NY underwear exposed to the open. Her jaw drop in an instant. She just ripped her pants. She got back up, trying to cover the back of her pants with the bottom of her leather jacket, and tries to make it back to her apartment before anyone else sees.
Never going to let Kramer touch my clothes again.

Note: I know Julia split her dress on Old Christine, but what if she had split her pants instead.

As her son Richie takes part of a class field trip, that Christine volunteers to take part of, Christine spends her afternoon at a petting zoo. She wasn't dress correctly for the occasion, she's dressed in her light pink blouse shirt with black strip pants, while wearing her black leather jacket and black open toe feels. Since it's Christine, she clearly misread her email with where her son's field was going to be. All Christine thought was, just as long as I don't step on something, all's well.
For the most part, she's glad to see that Richie's enjoying himself and having a fun day. Making her heart feel great to see her own son enjoying his class field trip.
While walking around parts of the zoo, "Ma'am, excuse me" she hears a man's voice behind her, as she turns to see who is calling her. "You got some no-no on your shoe" he says to her, as Christine looks down and sees that on the bottom of her left heel, she stepped on some poo.
"Oh! Man!" she cries slightly to herself. "I just got these heels too", she takes a seat on a wooden bench, she takes her heel off and wipes the poo off of her shoe by whipping it off underneath the bench. She sighs, "Well this day couldn't stink anymore" she says to herself.
"Mom" Richie comes up to her, "Everyone's heading to pig exhibit, we better get going".
"Yeah, you're right" Christine says, back to being gleeful like she is, only as she begins to get back on her feet.
A loud fabric tearing sound is heard, a loud one, RIP! as Christine gets back on her feet. Standing there, like if someone died, she immediately covers the back of her pants, "Richie, be a good boy and see why mommy's feeling a sudden breeze that she knows she's not suppose to feel" she says modifying to her son, who took a quick look at his mom's problem. As Christine still modifying stood there, Ritchie pops back up, and gives her an answer she did not like.
"Because your Team Edward slogan is wide open" Ritchie says, as Christine quickly pulls him behind her, as she has him cover her rip.
"Quick Ritchie, be a good son, and hide me!" Christine says as she wraps her son around her. She knows she's being pathetic and crazy, but as embarrassed as she was, she couldn't blame herself. She and Ritchie starts walking to the bathroom, she has an extra pair of pants she can wear, all she had to do is get to the bathroom before anyone could see...
"Christine" Marley says, walking by her.
As Christine and Ritchie stops, "Oh Marley, hey" she says, forcing a smile out, as Marley obviously staring and probably judging her.
"Everything okay, Christine?".
"It's all peachy, why you ask?".
"You're son is wrapped around you like if you split your pants or something".
"Nope" Christine forcefully lies herself to Marley. "I'm awesome" she says giving a false smile out.

Note: I had a sequel in mind with Elaine...

While heading up to Jerry's apartment Elaine rings the buzzer, with Jerry's voice through the intercom, "Hello?" he asks if his tone sound like it's somewhere else, if George or Kramer is up there then they're going over nothing like usual as she thought to herself, "It's me" she answers as she heard the click to the door as she walks in. Due to the elevator not working, Elaine walked up the stairs as Jerry's place is on the sixth floor of the building, as she made it to his level she felt a little out of breathe, as if she needed a moment. As she stood up straight after catching her wind, she stood up as she is dressed in her black dress suit, tannish dress shirt and black heel boots, before walking to Jerry's door, she adjust the waistline of her pants as the middle of her stomach is thicker than it usually is. Elaine is trying to pull off a great deal to get a free deli sandwich, all she needs to do is eat pretty much twenty-four sandwiches and she gets a free sub - the subs are not exactly great, though for Elaine it'll be worth it if she gets a bad sub for free. As she spent the past two weeks eating a sub two times a day, as it clearly has put an effect to her usual flat stomach, as she has gain a pot belly! She's lucky she's not close to looking like a blimp, but her new weight gain has made her loose more her usual energy and made her feel more exhausted, and her pants feeling tighter no less - all for a free bad sub.
When she enters Jerry's apartment she puts on her usual act, "Say what's new Jerry?" she says entering, as Jerry starts to get into his conversation with George, the two of them stopped and couldn't help but notice Elaine's middle. "What?" Elaine asks, acting like oblivious as she has a good idea why Jerry is staring at her.
"What on Earth happened to you?" Jerry asks if actually spreading some real concern.
"What do you mean?" she asks.
"Well it's possibly me, but I think someone has spent too much time at the deli" Jerry says as he pokes at Elaine's pot belly, as it feels thicker than it did last week.
"Perhaps you may want to get some bigger pants" George says as he pats Elaine's belly, "I remember when I started putting on weight".
"Okay knock it off" Elaine shrugs them off, as she felt the need to adjust her pants again for the fifth time today, "After two weeks of getting their subs twice a day, I finally get myself a free sub".
"I thought you said they don't taste great" George adds.
"They don't, but if I can get one for free, then damn it why not? I feel I've earn it, and this..." she lifts her stomach up, "...proves it" she lets go and gives it a pat.
"Man, people fattening themselves for free food what has this world come too?" Jerry makes one of his remarks.
The door opens and comes in Newman, who was needing something of Jerry's, as the two men made their feudful remarks, "Hello Newman" Jerry says, with Newman saying "Hello Jerry, I came for your new plunger as Kramer says..." as Elaine turns to face Newman that's when he shrieks lightly.
With an annoyed Elaine going, "What?".
"Nothing thought I saw a spider, it's nothing, how's things with you Elaine?" Newman awkwardly asking, "Not much belly up today I would hope".
Jerry steps in, "How about I show you where it is so you can use it for whatever comes out of you" he says as the two men went to Jerry's bathroom, as George heads out to handle something. While the two men stands in the bathroom.
"All for a sub?" Newman asks, with Jerry giving him a nod, "And they said I do anything for a free meal".
At the deli, after waiting ten minutes to get her free sub, she has her stubs out ready to get the free sub that she's been fattening herself over for the past two weeks, as she makes her way to the front of the line and hands her stubs to the owner, he takes a look at it.
"Sorry lady, this deal expired yesterday" he says as he hands the stubs back to a disbelief Elaine.
"What? It says tomorrow the 29" she hands it to him again.
Taking a closer look at it, he sees a small dirt on the stub, "Gunk, as you can see it says the 24th, yesterday, I'm sorry ma'am" he says.
A furious Elaine stands there as she starts to rant, "I can't believe this, I mean look me" she grabs hold of her belly, "I spent two weeks eating a sub twice a day to get a free one, I've earn this" she mimics her belly to talk, "I deserve a free sub after eating nothing but them for that long".
"I'm afraid you're out of luck there then" he says.
As Elaine walks away with the stub sliding towards the ground, Elaine not wanting to liter, bends down to her knees to grab it, as she leans her upper body down to grab it that's when...RIPPPP! A loud tearing noise was made, her head lifting up with her jaw dropped down, she felt the back of her pants, feeling her red panties with snowflakes on them, feeling the back of her pants split wide open. An embarrassed Elaine stands up and covers the back of her pants, as everyone in the deli stares at her either in shock or sort of giggling, as Elaine stood there blushing and kind of giggling a little. "Well what are the chances of that ever happening?" she says with a forced blush smile.
As quickly gets herself out of the deli, and covers the back of her pants as she gallops herself back to her apartment, before New York sees her panties, she says to herself, "Last time I fatten myself to get a free sub".

Note: I thought of another story for Elaine...set during season nine...

Since the style was tight clothing, Elaine got herself a pair of black stripped dress pants two size smaller than her usual size; dressed in her pink blouse shirt, Elaine staggers as faces herself in front of her mirror trying to pull the fastenings of her pants together. "Oh come on" Elaine grunts through her teeth, "These made any woman gal in the city pull it off, I sure as hell can!". Leaning back as her bare feet walks Elaine back to her bed, tipping over she inhales, sucking in her stomach as manages to get her pants button and give them a quick zip. Victorious, Elaine gloats, as she stands up to stare at herself in the mirror, she notices something off...her rolls sticking out the top of her pants. "Oy...well, they'll stretch out" Elaine says, holding her rolls, "At least I don't look like George".
At the dinner Jerry and George were discussing over nothing again, Elaine enters wearing her black leather jacket and black boots as she walks up to their usual booth, "Good morning, gentlemen" Elaine says with smile. As Elaine awkwardly slides herself in the booth next to Jerry, with grunting coming out of her, Elaine manages to sit in the seat, sighing if she did a long day's work. Leaning back, her muffin top sticks out if she looks like she's one month pregnant - just how tight her pants were. "Well, trying out a pair two sizes smaller than me" Elaine says, "Thought I give the look a try".
"I can see" George says taking a bite of his food, noticing Elaine's muffin.
"Is my belly that noticeable?" Elaine asks, feeling insecure a little.
Kramer walks in, "Ah, Elaine I didn't realize you were expecting, congratulations" he says as he pats Elaine's belly.
"Kramer you're just patting my tummy, I'm not pregnant your just patting my belly as my pants are making me look fat" she says as Kramer stops.
"Well, they make you look...good" Kramer says.
"Okay, I learn doing two sizes smaller isn't a good look" Elaine says as she tries standing up, grunting, on her feet, "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go home and change to a pair that does fit me".
Her purse slides off of her shoulder, landing on the ground, Elaine sighs with an annoyance, as she starts to reach down to grab her purse, grunting she struggles since her pants were that tight, "Almost...got it" her voice strains as the back of her pants were facing her friends, as she can feel the strap, "Got it" Elaine excitedly says right as...RIPPPP! Elaine's face froze as her lips squeeze themselves as her eyes lit. Her head turns back as her hands feel the large oval shape tear in the back of her pants, feeling her pink panties with small Statue of Liberties with shades. Elaine gasps, with her jaw dropping to an O, "Oh My GOD!" Elaine says.
Jerry, Kramer and George stares at Elaine's rear, "Holy Moses" George says.
"OH CRAP!" Elaine shrieks as she turns blushingly to face her colleagues, "Like I said, I'm going to go home and change into a pair that's my size...bye!" she darts out.
The three turns to each other, "So what's going with you?" Jerry asks Kramer, moving on.