The Women of Saturday Night Live

Note: I thought of starting with forum with Maya Rudolph as Herself...

Dressing herself for her role of Kamala Harris, Maya is given the outfit for the skit: dark blue stain silk shirt and black dress suit; already in her shirt, Maya pulls her pants only to stumble as they reach the hips. She slightly gives them a pull, no budge, then again, and nothing. Leading her to hop gently up and down to pull them up, "Oh come on!" Maya whining whiles the dressing room. "They must have gave me the wrong pants size" she says, as she uses all her might to get them pulled up. She sighs out of relief, now is to button them. As that is the more tricking part...
Maya grunts as tries to button them, using her right hand to hold fastenings together as her left hand tries to pull the zipper up. She leans her upper body back a little as she got an inch zip up, she can hear her zipper slowly go up a little, "There you got this Maya" she says to herself with her voice strained, stepping on the tip of her tippy toes, back leaning up straight, sucking in her gut as much as she could, regretting eating three or perhaps four chilly cheese dogs last night, as feels the zipper going up to the top, as flips herself on to her back with her feet sticking up, "Ow" she says mellowly soft. Lifting her head up, her pants are zipped, while sucking it in, "Please, please, please..." Maya whispers a prayer as she manages to button her pants! With a sigh of relief her head leans down as she cries out, "Thank God!".
After the cold open, with host preparing the monologue, Maya steps off the stage as her black heels click the hallway floor as she is greeted by the cast, "Great performance" "Perfect Harris impersonation" "You're a Hoot"; feeling praised for her performance, she couldn't help but feel the nagging discomfort of how tight her pants are. As she can feel them pressing up against her stomach. Heading to the restroom, she stands in front of a mirror in front of a sink, looking down at her pooch that's slightly sticking out of the top of her pants. Standing off her right, hands pressed on her pooch, she inhales and exhales as she sighs out, "Oh my tummy" Maya whines out, "I knew putting one five-ish pounds during COVID was going to come back to me". She inhales as she shrugs off her self-pity as she washes her hands, finished she wipes them with a paper towel that fell down in front of her.
Maya bends down with her knees far spread apart, leaning her upper body down towards the towel with her butt pressed against the back of her pants, as the steams start to wore out and that's when suddenly...RIPPPP! A loud fabric tear was head in the bathroom, as it was the back of Maya's pants that had violently split open, exposing her white panties with small memes of herself on them. After her pants split open, Maya lifts her head up with a shaken reaction on her face, as it went pale and blank. "Oh My God" she says, as she feels the back of her pants, feeling the very large oval shape tear, and feeling her meme panties, with a much more of gasp came out of Maya! "Shit!" she whiles out with her comedic voice as she fastens herself up from the ground, and covers the back of her pants the best she could, as if this night can't be any more worse for her, the door opens and comes in Kate who too was in the skit with Maya, who stands there looking at Maya with an odd look.
"You split your pants open?" Kate asks, leading to Maya do nothing expect nod her head, as she couldn't hide it.
The two stepped out of the bathroom, with Maya wrapping Kate around her waist, holding Kate's hand together tightly as the two performers make their way through the hallway, trying to get to Maya's dress room, while making it obvious that something's going on, the two women try to play it cool. "Last time I'll ever eat too much the night before" Maya says as the two women started giggling away. "Just glad I didn't wear my thong tonight, hate for everyone to see my tattoo on my right cheek". Which raises an eyebrow off of Kate. With Maya turning her head, "It was 2008, and I was very excited to hear Obama's name on the news".
"Make sense" Kate only said as the two women head to Maya's dress room, "Thanks Kate" Maya says, as Kate nods and then slaps Maya on the right cheek, which kind of startled her yet flattered her too. As Kate leaves Maya, Maya closes the door and turns to face her shame, for nights to feel norstatistic. She huffs as she sit in her chair, nice and comfortable as she sighs out a deep breath, leading to the button of her pants to pop open, hitting the mirror and then pops back at Maya's forehead, as she's pushed back and landing onto the floor with her heels sticking up.
"Damn chilly cheese dogs!" she whines out.

Note: I thought of Tina Fey from Mean Girls - perhaps due to the new movie that's out - set after the original movie...

As her alarm goes off abruptly, Sharon Norbury turns the alarm off with a good smack, as she yawns if she's still tired, usually she's a morning raiser; as she starts getting her dressed for work, already dress in her dark white button shirt as Sharon staggers as she tries buttoning her black dress pants. "Oh god..." Sharon moans desperately, "...these fit fine on me a week ago". With another pull Sharon groans as she starts jumping slightly off the floor. "Okay, old fashion, suck my belly in" Sharon says as she quickly inhales and pulls her fastenings together as she gives her pants a quick zip and buttons them. "Ah!" Sharon victoriously says, "In your face pants!" Though looking at herself in the mirror, Sharon notices her belly and notices how bloated she looks, she hasn't really ate nothing expect those weight loss bars Regina George gave her, George said that Sharon would form water weight while losing weight. At this point Sharon isn't so sure if that's accurate, though she didn't have time to think as she needed to finish getting ready.
As class starts, Sharon went on with the lessons she prepared for today, as she snacks on one of those bars, "So if you take the length against the width" Sharon says with her mouth full, "you'll get the answer". Cady Heron notices how increasing Sharon is eating that bar, as Cady has a pretty good idea what that bar is. Sometime afterwards, Sharon hands out last week's tests, "Now I have to say I was pretty impressed with how all you guys did last week on your test". She starts putting the tests on her students desk, "Most of you reached a good 100% and that's..." the papers slipped out of her hands and landed on the ground, "Shoot" Sharon whispers, as she gets down on her knees with her back facing her students, right as her butt sticks up in the air...RIPPPP! Sharon lifts her head up after she head a loud fabric tear noise, as her students can see her red panties with the saying Mathletes for Life! Feeling how big the tear is, Sharon gasps as she quickly stands back up and turns around as her students starts laughing or smirking as she just ripped her pants in front of her students. "Oh not like any of you had your pants split once in your life" Sharon's face blushes bright red as Cady's hair.
As Cady hints to a giggling Janis to help their teacher out as Janis went up and wraps her jacket around Sharon's waist, "Thank you Janis" Sharon whimpers blushingly.
"Sure thing, Ms. Norbury, just may want to lay off of those bars, since you got a nice tummy growing in" Janis pats Sharon's bloated belly, as Sharon got the hint that Regina George was jacking with her.
That BITCH! Sharon thought to herself, and thinking to herself, I loved these pants too!